Ah, the Holidays

The alarm goes off and I stumble to the bathroom. Upon exiting the bathroom, my mother corners me. “You’re awake!” she said delightedly. “Why are you up so early?”

“I had to take my anti-baby pill.” I told her, groggily, and made a beeline to the kitchen to start making coffee. Once she starts talking to me it’s a lost cause. Going back to bed is not an option.

“Anti-baby pill?” she frowned and followed me to the kitchen.

“Uh huh. Coffee? Where is it?” At this point I think I was about 30 seconds away from begging, on my knees.

“Oh,” she said and handed me the blessed tin, “No grandchildren?”

“Not this month at least.”

And with that, everyone, I wish you a very Happy Holiday Season and few awkward conversations with your family!

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9 Responses to Ah, the Holidays

  1. “not this month”- best quote ever!

  2. Nicky says:

    “not this month” Hehehe. That made my day. I may have to call them anti-baby pills from now on.

  3. I agree with Nicky…”anti-baby pills” will have to become part of my vocabulary.

    Happy holidays!

  4. Geekgirl says:

    LOL, I love that. Those “before coffee” conversations are always unfortunate.

    I know someone who was asked by his father whether he needed condoms in a “before coffee” conversation.

  5. good answer!

    I might have made up something like had to go for a pee or something…

  6. ScienceGirl says:

    LOL – anti-baby pills is a good way to put it 🙂 And my mom is the same way – once she is awake, I don’t get to sleep!

  7. Amelie says:

    “not this month” is great. Fortunately I rarely get this question.

  8. UR: I was so tired that it was all that made sense to me at the time. My mom was a little confused, though (as in ‘Of course not this month! You’re not even showing.’)

    Nicky and SGG: I can’t take all the credit. The term comes from a conversation I had with FormerRoommate… one night… after a bottle of wine.

    Geek Girl: Yikes! That’s worse. Way worse.

    Stepwise Girl: I only wish I could be that coherent in the mornings.

    Science Girl: I think that my mom is just so happy that someone else is awake. She’s a morning person in a house full of night owls.

    Amelie: You are very fortunate. Very.

  9. I managed to avoid the whole grandchildren conversation again… just bought myself another 18 months… if I keep this up I’ll be able to simply say “sorry, I’m too old”.

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