Keeping the Crazy in Check

Well, for the most part at least. (The wine is probably helping me a lot right now.) Unfortunately, that has meant cutting out anything that isn’t necessary for making it through the day and that includes commenting and blogging. I’m starting to emerge from a period of just surviving, though, so I should be able to comment more.

Not sure about the blogging thing, though, because (1) I’m not feeling too interesting and (2) I’ve started to get hits from my institution. I’m not exactly pseudonymous (obviously), but I haven’t talked to my Advisor about this blog and I’m paranoid. I can’t imagine anything horrible happening because of this blog. I haven’t said anything bad about my Advisor or program or any of the usual things that get bloggers in trouble. So, I’m still up in the air about the blog.

With that out of the way, I’ve been busy. I had my committee meeting and I got permission to write. So, I jumped that hoop. It was fairly anti-climatic. I was expecting to be grilled and really work at proving my done-ness. However, it wasn’t like that. I presented most of what I’ve done and told my committee what I was planning to do. At the end of the meeting, they just asked me if that was all and where was the form to sign. And that was that.

And another big piece of news was that my interview was pushed back. Not on my side, but on the potential PI’s side. So, now Dr. Man and I are going there at the end of July. This means that I’ll have the majority of my experiments done and I’ll be more prepared. I suppose that expectation will be higher, too, but not much I can do about that. Does anyone have any advice about interviewing?

Oh! And I got another pseudo-offer for a postdoc. (Can I just say that this is totally not how I saw this postdoc hunt going? I really thought that I wasn’t going to find anything at all and would have to beg someone to allow me to work for them.) It’s contingent upon funding, but I think the funding has a good chance of coming through. Does anyone have any advice on deciding on postdocs?

And that’s all that’s going on with my life. And it just occurred to me, is it sad that everything in my life is related to the lab?

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To Do: Remember to Breath

I’ve scheduled this interview for a postdoc. A few months ago PI called to ask me if zie could put my name on zie’s grant. I said that would be fine. At that point in time the PI mentioned that zie would like me to visit, even if I didn’t have a job talk prepared. A bit startled I stammered something about that I think I’d like to visit over the summer and should have something to talk about by then.

A few weeks later, I realized that I was busy every weekend in July and at this point in time graduating in August was still a possibility. (The not graduating in August thing has more to do with the thesis submission deadline being very close to the start of the semester.) I discussed all this with Advisor and he felt that the middle of the summer would be a good time to talk. He assured me that completing my entire thesis was unnecessary before going out on interviews. So, June was the time to schedule it. I called and talked to the PI and the end of June was decided on. Over the past few weeks travel plans were arranged and I was finally starting to relax.

I was confident that I’d finish the last couple of experiments by the end of May and I’d have a decent story to present. I felt that everything was going to be ok. That was until Advisor called. He wants to meet on Monday to discuss the final experiments that need to be done. He said that two months out is about the right time to start thinking and preparing for this talk. All that sounds reasonable, right?

Now, though, my stomach is all tied up in knots and I’m convinced that I won’t finish the last few experiments (and they’re nothing major or new– a few Westerns, some activity assays, and some strain construction) and I’ll bomb the talk. And why, oh why did I not wait until I had every single experiment done for my dissertation to schedule this? And what in the world made me decide that I could possibly interview and get a postdoc?

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RBOC: The Lack of Time Edition

I miss this space. I have a bunch of half written posts that are nice and fun and good. Yet they’re only half written. And I seem to be missing the time it would take to complete those posts. Instead, I bring you a post that doesn’t require any editing: RBOC.

  • I am currently scheduling a visit to interview for potential postdoc. It looks like it will be at the end of June. There are so many caveats in place with this job that I hesitate to blog about it. However, it does look like it’d be awesome.
  • There is, of course, the obligatory unbloggable that’s going on right now. It’s a different unbloggable from before and it’s a much nicer one. Still, it’s nothing that I can blog about.
  • Dr. Man and I are going to visit his family soon. I was much more excited about this before I found out there was trouble with one of his siblings… again.
  • I am not graduating this summer.
  • I have been told that I will be done one way or another in the fall.
  • That’s because we are out of money and Advisor is limping me through until the end.
  • I’m terrified that I won’t finish.
  • I’m terrified that I will finish.
  • For the past 6 days I have been “running” in the mornings. I use the quotes because I’m not in good enough shape to run without stopping for an entire 30 mins. Yes, this is what graduate school has done to me. So, I alternate running for 2 mins with walking for 3 mins until I reach 30 mins.
  • The Dixie Dog is doing well and is enjoying this “running” thing, too.
  • The Dixie Dog probably could run for 30 mins without stopping.
  • But she’s gets easily distracted by any combination of the following: sniffing the grass, staring at squirrels, barking at cats, peeing, pooping.
  • Dr. Man’s program is annoying me. A. Lot. But at least they’ve resolved the major issue.
  • This summer is looking to be very busy. I have: a committee meeting, a bridal shower to host (for Former Roommate), a bachelorette party to host (for F.R.), bachelorette party to attend for BIL-3’s fiancee, BIL-3’s wedding, then a week later F.R.’s wedding.
  • We got new appliances for our kitchen. This is a change because now not only do all of our appliances match (they’re black!); they all work properly.
  • This is a much longer list than I thought it would be. It appears that things have been happening in my life.
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Science and (Environmental) Sustainability

Recently I’ve been thinking about environmental sustainability in Science. There has been a big push at Public U. to be environmentally friendly. All new buildings on campus are LEED certified and there are new recycling bins on each floor. Also, a few months ago there was a big “Environmental Sustainability Fair” on the main campus. At this fair there was a big emphasis on things you can do on campus to Save Our PlanetTM. However, Science is not always about conservation.

In most facets of my life I strive to for environmental sustainability. I’m not always the best at that, but it’s something that I work on. I bring my own bags to the grocery store, recycle everything that I can, compost (this is much easier with a house and a yard), and turn off the water when I’m brushing my teeth. All those little things that I try to do to minimize my own impact on the Earth.

However, not all my Scientific Practices are that environmentally friendly. Take tissue culture, most of the things that one uses is disposable. It’s that way because everything has to be sterile and it’s more efficient to use disposable items. But it’s not just tissue culture. There are many things in the lab designed to be one-time use — conical tubes, microcentrifuge tubes, the (infamous) blue Qiagen kits, etc. That’s not to mention the toxic chemicals I use on a daily basis (phenol anyone?). On top of all that, my Advisor recently decided to let our dishwasher (person, not machine) go. So, now I’m doing my own dishes (cue the world’s smallest violin) and, consequently, using more disposable items.

Reconciling my desire for environmental sustainability and common practices in Science is difficult for me. There are some things that I do to make Science less environmentally harmful. Our pipet tip refills have less waste and are recyclable. The serological pipets are glass and we have a washer for them (as a side note: I like those better than the plastic ones and they’re easy to clean and sterilize). In general, I try to minimize the amount of plastic waste that I generate.

Still, I’m not going to stop using all the plasticware in our lab. I’m still going to use harmful chemicals. And I’m still going to generate biological waste.

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March Scientiae: Continuity (The Illustrated Version)

I wanted to thank everyone up front for all their submissions. We had quite the turn out this month; there were 22 submissions in all. I hope that you all have as much fun reading this carnival as I had putting it together.

I chose this month’s theme because it is constantly coming up in my life right now. I am hoping to graduate sometime this year. This has spurred a lot of talk in my lab and in my home about continuity. In the lab it tends to be in the form of sharing my knowledge and skills with Advisor and my fellow grad students. At home it’s of the where will we live and what shall I do variety. With this in the forefront of my mind, I decided to make Continuity the theme of this month’s Scientiae Carnival. It seems, from most everyone’s posts, that we, as scientists, have very little continuity in our lives. However, sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I want to start with a quote from Brigindo’s post.

To be continuous is to endure.
To be continuous is to hold on.

We all have some continuities in our lives, because we continue to endure, to hold on to our careers and lives. Later in her post we find that her research explores the sameness of daily life. She studies the routines and habits “that become the background for our stories about ourselves.” That sameness is more important than we think.

It’s been pointed out many times that the topic I chose for this month is rather ironic in terms of our lives. I think that Dr. Becca put it best when she wrote:

“My bemusement comes from having to ponder, as a young scientist, the idea of continuity in my life, a task I might compare to asking an accountant to write on the theme of “danger.””

She’s right that most of us got into this business because we liked the idea of things being discontinuous. Though, she does hope for some continuity… eventually.

While the theme of continuity may be ironic in reference to our lives, Biochem Belle tells us that it’s in line with science. She writes “As scientists, it’s something most of us seek each day with every experiment. … Yet I sometimes have trouble identifying continuity in my life.” Maybe this means that science discontinuous with our lives?

However, sometimes it’s the people that provide continuity. Alyssa at Apple Pie and the Universe feels that the people in her life are the constant. That seems to be a running theme in this carnival. Even in times of great uncertainty like the one Wondering Albatross is in (the Job Market) she finds that the people (and the pets) remain constant. She writes, “The pets will always provide entertainment, Grackle will always do something sweet and we will never get as much cleaning done as we plan.”

But what if the people in our lives aren’t constant? Grad students graduate, post-docs move on to other jobs, faculty members may retire. Dr. O shares about the discontinuity of people in her lab and wonders where that leaves her. With all this coming and going it can make friendship difficult. Rocket Scientista discusses how difficult it is to make and keep friends. I don’t think she’s the only person who has ever felt like Cecilia.

In the you learn something new every day category (Ed. Note: It’s new to me.) Life Long Scholar points out that continuity is especially important in geology. Apparently there’s a principal about continuity? However, It’s important in her life, too. She tells us about the things that are continuous in her life: her library, ability to find friends with her interests, and the feeling that of a geology department. It may be true that, while each department is unique, there are certain commonalities to them that make them feel like home.

Sometimes we have to work at and create our own continuity. Patchi at My Middle Years talks about the end of year traditions in her home. Many of those traditions come from her and Dada’s family, but she focuses more on the feelings that she wants to pass on to her children.

Speaking of children, as some of you may know, Science Girl is about to go on maternity leave (you can get in on guessing Baby SG’s birthweight here). In her post she talks about how she struggles with continuing her science with maternity leave looming. Also, she ponders how to make sure that she can pick up her work when she comes back. I’m sure that I speak for all of us when I say that I wish Science Girl the best with the new arrival and for her dissertation!

After thinking about Science Girl’s new baby it made me think of Kylie’s post at
Podblack. In that post she discusses a variety of articles about gender and toys (although, not all the toys are for little people). In one particular bit, she tells of a news story where Dell will be partnering with O.P.I to make Dell notebooks in colors that mach O.P.I.’s nail polish shades.

“Suddenly all I can think of is ‘The Devil Wears Prada”s main character Andrea pointing out that it’s one thing to be proud of how you present yourself as an educated woman on matters of fashion – but quite another to be a stressed-out slave to a Vogue harridan telling you that a ‘little Crisco and a little fishing wire‘ is a necessary ingredient to improving your look.”


It’s been a bit of an uphill battle to get women recognized as people even interested in science, too. Ann at Steel Toed Stilettos writes about important women who did not receive any recognition for their contributions. She tells us about women behind the scenes at Disney, who helped get Snow White on the screen and women that programmed ENIAC, a computer that was created to calculate ballistics trajectories during World War II. She ponders if this trend to not recognize women’s accomplishments has changed. She urges us to continue to tell our stories, so others can acknowledge our achievements.

Ann is right to encourage us– and I think we’re doing that a bit here. Without the community created by female scientists that came before us, it’s difficult for future women scientists to come after us. Pat at Fairer Science confirms this. She tells us that interest and skills alone do not a lady scientist make. She’s right, without guidance, resources, and support (institutional and otherwise), it’s almost impossible to keep girls (Ed. note: And female grad students. And maybe other women scientists?) in science.

Community may be one of the larger factors in whether or not people continue in science. Melissa at Confused at a Higher Level (Ed. note: I love the name!) discusses her community of physicists. She points out that the community needs to recognize that scientists are people who have lives outside of their work.

Continuity isn’t always for the best, though, as Dr. DudeChick tells us. Sometimes the biggest discontinuity may be one that we didn’t want in the first place: not ending up in the career you thought you would. That’s part of what makes this career so intimidating. After all the discontinuities, you may still end up at a different destination. Learning how to deal with that possibility is difficult.

Also, sometimes this career can just get you down, especially when Science isn’t working. PhDamnation has an excellent outlook on Science, the PhD process, and life in general. “If you realize every day that all around you has been and will be long before or after you, it kind of changes how you look at things, and how you deal with life on a daily basis.” She also has started a great group– or un-group– where she meets with her fellow students to talk science and cheer each other on. I think it’s a wonderful idea and may co-opt it for my group.

Damn Good Technician points out that Science, itself, is a small world. We can change jobs, universities, and positions; however, we can still call the same people to fix our equipment. And, she’s right, that does make it feel a bit more like home.

It’s true that having familiar faces in the mix can help. EcoGeoFemme shares with us a bit about her new post-doc adventure. She’s doing some things are the same as her graduate work, but it sounds like a lot of things are different, too! She’s grateful that she didn’t have to change too many things at once and still gets to interact with some of the same people.


And sometimes we change paths a bit. Stephanie at Stephanie’s Adventures in the Woods seeks continuity between her “old” programmer-self to her “new” coder-self. She uses the term “evolving career” and I think that’s a great way to think about careers. None of us are leaving behind everything when we take the next step, be it to postdoc, faculty, industry, or whatever else we chose. The knowledge, skills, and good habits we have acquired will continue with us.

However, sometimes we have to change, or at least modify, some of our old habits, like Liberal Arts Lady. She writes about how her graduate mindset of saying yes to new collaborators and field opportunities, when she does need to answer her own research questions. But how do we say no to new things when this is one of the reasons we got into science in the first place?

To Jane B these modifications and changes to our old habits, knowledge, and skills may not be a bad things. She fears that continuity could turn into “a rut, and then a tramline and then a straight-jacket.” She’s right. That’s something it can turn into rather easily. And it’s that’s the downside to continuity that I rarely think about when I’m complaining about the constant upheaval in my own life. It’s good to realize that sometimes we need the shake up– even if we don’t like it.

I’d like to end this carnival with a post by Silver Fox at Looking For Detachment. She explores the meaning of continuity in both her life and her work. She finds little continuity in her life, but geology. As she writes:

“”I am a geologist. I was a geologist. I will be a geologist. I will always be a geologist.”
I have been other things, I have done other things, but there is something basic about being a geologist that will stay with me no matter what I might do in the future.”

Still, even geology may not always be constant.

“Through my life, [the Sierra Nevada] have always been there. It is, thus, easy for me to extrapolate back in time to think that they have always been there — and they have been there for a very, very long time, but not forever. It is also easy for me to extrapolate into the future and find no future in which they don’t exist.”

But, after reading this months submissions, I’m wondering if just maybe the discontinuities make way for even better things.


(All comics come from PhD Comics.)

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For Science Girl

Science Girl,

I don’t have any children, so I feel immensely unqualified to give you any advice.

Although, I do have a dog, I feel that may not quite be the same. For instance, I can leave the dog home alone while I’m at work and I have no risk of going to jail.

I do enjoy a good baby shower, though. Usually at these events, I enter someone’s living room that has been decorated with pink and/or blue crepe paper (one person had green). In the corner there’s food– cupcakes, yum!– and drink– hopefully, not some awful punch. Most of the baby shower is spent talking about the life yet-to-be of the little one. That’s the part that I like best. And, Science Girl, I think you will be a wonderful mother. Just think, of all the skills you’ve learned in grad school: patience, perseverance, and being able to tolerate a lot of poop. All necessary skills, from what I understand, to be a good parent. Your little one will be lucky to have you.

Then, there’s the awful games. With melted candy bars in diapers (the object is to guess the name of the candy bar) or measuring the mom-to-be’s belly with toilet paper (I don’t get this one, why would you want to know how big your belly is in increments of sheets of TP?). Still, I tend to play along to be a good sport and I try not to think too much about the chocolate cupcake I just ate. The last bit of the shower is the presents. And all those tiny socks/shoes/onsies make me ooh and ahh. And marvel over how small the new little person will be.

After that it’s time for guests to leave. So, I get up, debate about having another cupcake for the road, and say good-bye.

I’m so very excited for you and wish you all the best, Science Girl! And I’ve had a wonderful time at your shower!

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These are the things I think about at night

I’ve been informed that I should start thinking/looking for a postdoc. I’m a bit in denial about this. It just doesn’t feel like I’m close to graduating. Right now it seems like this nebulous goal. It shouldn’t feel that way because I listed my aims in my proposal 2.5 years ago. I look at those aims, though, and see only 1/4 are completed. 2/4 are in progress and are closer to completion. The last 1/4 haven’t even been begun and could easily be another year of experiments. So, by my calculations, I’m at least (emphasis on at least) a year out.

However, Advisor assures me that it should be more like 6-8 months. In fact, he mentions this Summer to People Who Are Not Me. These mentions tie my stomach up in knots because it seems impossible. And then I worry about not graduating if I don’t make this timeline (and keep in mind that I’m only in my 5th year and the average in my program is 5.5 years). Advisor has told me that he would prefer me to graduate and he doesn’t see me leaving the program without graduating. (And as Dr. Man points out, Advisor has done this before, many times, and I haven’t. So, perhaps I should trust the person who has experience.)

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Scientiae: Call For Posts

I’m hosting Scientiae for March. First of all, I’m really pleased that Scientiae is continuing. The carnival is what got me into blogging in the first place.

Now the difficult part: trying to figure out a theme for this month. I’ve never hosted Scientiae before and I didn’t realize how tricky this could be! At last I’ve settled on a very broad topic: Continuity. The word applies not only to Scientiae (we’re on year 3!), but Science, too. To start you all thinking about this topic I looked it up in the OED.

Continuity
|ˌkäntnˈ(y)oōətē|
noun ( pl. -ties)
1. the unbroken and consistent existence or operation of something over a period of time
• a state of stability and the absence of disruption
• (often continuity between/with) a connection or line of development with no sharp breaks
2. the maintenance of continuous action and self-consistent detail in the various scenes of a movie or broadcast : [as adj. ]

Of course, if you would like to write about something not on this topic, that’s perfectly fine, too. Please email a permalink to your post to scientiaecarnival [a] gmail [dt] com by 11:59pm on February 27th. (Don’t worry I’ll send an email to the Scientiae Google Group to remind you!) I’ll post the carnival by 11:59pm on March 1st. I’m looking forward to everyone’s submissions!

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Quick! Before I lose the posting momentum!

I’ve been writing posts in my head, but by the time I get home I’m too exhausted to write. Today is no exception, but I don’t want to lose my posting momentum. So, in classic style, I present to you: RBOC

  • I’m making progress with my experiments! I’m afraid of jinxing myself by being too pleased about it.
  • My parents want to know when I’m graduating. At least it’s better than them asking if I’m going to graduate.
  • I want to make New Year Resolutions. But I’m awful at keeping them and it always makes me sad when I don’t. So, I’m holding off this year. Still, it’s hard to resist the temptation. I love the idea of it being a shiny, new year with all sorts of opportunities to improve (be faster, stronger, smarter) upon myself.
  • I got a really flattering, but unbloggable, offer (career-wise). It really is pretty nifty– if I can toot my own horn for a minute.
  • I’m going to host Scientiae for March. Stay tuned for more on that.
  • The Wii Fit is keeping me more active than I would be otherwise. I think it’s only really good for strength training/yoga/balance type things. I’m not a fan of a lot of the cardio stuff. Although, Dr. Man gets a kick out of the hula hoop stuff.

And those are the highlights (or lowlights). I’m cutting back on my working hours this week, so you may get an actual post out of me yet!

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Adventures in Exercising

I’ve started exercising using the Wii Fit Plus (I’m not sure where the plus comes from). So far, so good. It’s interesting to use and the activities are short enough to where I don’t get bored. The last bit is very important because (for me) exercising indoors gets pretty boring and I get tired of doing the same thing over and over again. (Running outdoors is not the same because at least then the scenery changes and the Dixie Dog is an interesting running partner.) However, there are two things that I dislike (1) based on your weight it generates what it (the wii) thinks your body type must be and (2) when I don’t do well at some activity it shows my Mii (it’s an avatar you create) weeping. Trust me, while I may dislike being hit with a wrecking ball and thrown off the floating raft, I’m not spilling any tears here. I save those for crappy experiments.

(That’s not me in the picture. And this person is doing much better than I was earlier today!)

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