Unknown Biases

Posted on March 2, 2008 by Amanda

I had an interesting conversation the other day with SIL-1. I’ve mentioned before that she is a conservative christian, but she’s not overly pushy about it. At least she doesn’t try to “witness” with me. Also, I try to abide by that old statement that “Politics and religion have no place in polite conversation.”* So, it’s understandable that we don’t discuss religion (or politics for that matter). Still, it surprised me that, when we were discussing the wedding ceremony, she asked me, “If it would be ok for us to recite the Lord’s prayer, since you’re an atheist?”
I asked her “Why do you think I’m an atheist?”
(As a side note Dr. Man and I did have a religious ceremony for our wedding, not in the church though. And SIL-1 was there. I have the pictures to prove it.) “Well, you’re a scientist,” she replied.

I was surprised. It had never occurred to me that one followed the other. I mean, I know that a lot of scientists are atheists for various reasons. However, I didn’t know that when I took my quals I pledged my allegiance to atheism (but if it involved robes and candles and a secret handshake, I’d be all over that). This led to an awkward conversation about how I consider myself christian, but that I have a lot of problems with the organization of it. I have a hard time being associated with a religion that preaches the subservience/inferiority of women, that actively persecutes homosexuals, and that cares more about unborn children than those that are alive and struggling. (I do know that not all christian denominations do such things. And a lot of christians do not agree with everything the church pronounces as the “right way to do things.”)**

I concluded by telling her that I’m doing research on the feminist perspective of religion and the history of the bible/church. That I want to be able to intellectually reason out how I feel, what I believe, and what (if any) church I should (or would like to) attend– i.e. one that would mostly agree with whatever interpretations, etc. that I come up with.

SIL-1 laughed and said, “See, I told you that you are a scientist!”

* I realize that I’m not really following that adage here. Then, again, I never claimed that my blog was so-called polite conversation.
** I’m really not trying to insult christians that do or do not believe those things I wrote. I’m just stating my feelings on such matters and if it bothers you a whole lot just remember that I can’t be that smart, afterall, I’m in grad school.

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

To Renew or To Not Renew

Posted on February 29, 2008 by Amanda

This month’s theme for Scientiae is Renewal. I’ve been thinking about that a lot. There’s a few things that I’m trying to decide whether or not to renew. And a few things that I definitely want to renew, but it’s a matter of figuring out how.

Starting out with something I want to renew. The Main Project of my dissertation. This deals with fluorescence type stuff (like FRET and anisotropy). I really need to work on balancing the projects that I’m working on in the lab. I’m beginning not to be so afraid of working with yeast (thanks!). Things are looking simpler in that respect, leaving me free to work on other things. So, I want/need to renew the work on Main Project.

Another thing that I want to renew, but has to wait until after deadline, is house hunting. Yep, when Dr. Man moves back we’re buying a house. I think this makes me dangerously close to being a “grown-up.”

Something I’m not sure I want to renew: medication for depression. Wow, all this personal information! I’ve got the big, bad mental illness, the big D. Just wanting to be clear here, this wasn’t caused by grad school. I’m not saying this hasn’t exacerbated the problem. But I’ve dealt with it (normally) without said medication. So, I’m thinking about stopping it. (This will probably be a blog post of itself. Or this may be the only time I mention this. I’ll have to decide whether or not to renew this topic.)

Things I definitely do not want to renew:
-13 hour work days (heck, anything over 10 hours is a bit too much for me)
-Having work piled on me
-Burn out
-Insomnia
-Bush’s term as president

Posted in Grad School, scientiae-carnival, work habits | 3 Comments

Time management in a LDR

Posted on February 28, 2008 by Amanda

I’ve got a deadline in a little over two weeks. A big one. It’s to submit an abstract to Major European Conference. I’m committed to going and to get the department to pay for it I have to submit an abstract. Advisor really wants this project completed before we attend this conference because (a) it’s been stretching on for forever and (b) this experiment would answer (or at least begin to answer) a pretty big question in our field– granted my field is not exactly earth-shaking, it’s basic science research. This means I need to have a good chunk of Important Project done and Related Project For Abstract Purposes needs to be entirely done. I have until March 16th.

What I’ve been struggling with is how to see Dr. Man in the next two weeks. He was down last weekend and this is my weekend to go up. But do I go? I know that Advisor would allow (and by allow, I mean trust me to get everything done and still take the time off). Then, there’s the weekend of 8th (which for me would be the 8th, 9th, and 10th because of Dr. Man’s work schedule), but that’s the week before the abstract is due. I’d go this weekend without hesitation if I thought I could still get everything done.

Hence, I’m dithering about this. And I have to decide by this evening.

Posted in LDR | 2 Comments

Circles

Posted on February 26, 2008 by Amanda

I have dark circles under my eyes. My question is: Grad School or Age?

I spent one hour and thirty minutes of my very busy day dealing with a particular tissue culture company to try to get my yeast strain. (While we’ve been told by one yeast geneticist that the null causes the cells to go rho zero, another said that she had done it before without any such problem. So, I’m attacking all angles.) So, today the yeast strain I ordered about a month ago arrived. Another way to attack the problem, right? You’d think. I read the genotype and it doesn’t match the genotype of the product number I ordered. So, I call the company. Do they believe me? Nope. It’s pretty easy to determine.

Step 1: Read product number.
Step 2: Look up product number in catalog.
Step 3: Read listing of what genotype the strain is. This information is found immediately underneath the product number.
Step 4: Read genotype on product info sheet.
Step 5: Realize that the phrase “deltaGENE” does not look anything like “YPLXXW::KanMx4”

Pretty obvious, huh? Eventually, I resorted to faxing the product info sheet to the company. What was their response?

“Wow. This really doesn’t match.”

Grrr.

Posted in whining | 3 Comments

Archive Meme

Posted on February 25, 2008 by Amanda

Now that I’ve been tagged by both EcoGeoFemme and ScienceGirl, I should get around to reading my archives and figuring out what to post. I’ve had a hard time figuring out what to post because I don’t have a very extensive archive. Anyhow, without further ado…

Here are the rules for the meme:
Archive Meme Instructions: Go back through your archives and post the links to your five favorite blog posts that you’ve written. … but there is a catch:

Link 1 must be about family.
Link 2 must be about friends.
Link 3 must be about yourself, who you are… what you’re all about.
Link 4 must be about something you love.
Link 5 can be anything you choose.

I think this is a great way to circulate some of the great older posts everyone had written, return to a few great places in our memories and also learn a little something about ourselves and each other that we may not know.

Post your five links and then tag five other people. At least TWO of the people you tag must be *newer acquaintances so that you get to know each other better….and don’t forget to read the archive posts and leave comments!

Link 1: Family. I don’t write much about my family, aside from Dr. Man. So, I picked two posts that deal with fitting in with Dr. Man’s family. Eventually, I should write more about my parents and brother.

Link 2: Friends. I’m lucky enough to have a great support group in Grad School. I think that my sanity has been preserved, in part, by having regular Girl’s Nights.

Link 3: Myself. What am I all about? That’s a pretty good question. I’ve written on various aspects of my life. But I guess the Introductory post does the best job of talking about me.

Link 4: Love. I’ll be all schmoopy (and, yes, that is a word) on this one and say Dr. Man. (You all can now stop gagging.)

Link 5: Strange. I’m a life-long liberal and it was a strange experience to shoot a gun. I didn’t feel the evil ooze out of the firearm like I thought I would. It was fun, a bit challenging, and a great stress relief. However, I still don’t think I’ll ever own one.

As to who to tag… I’m not sure. I’m a fairly new blogger so everyone is a new acquaintance. But I’ll tag:
Brigindo
SouthernGradGirl
MadHatter
Saxifraga
Wayfarer Scientista

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Two Body Problem, Part III

Posted on February 24, 2008 by Amanda

I’m writing this just twenty minutes after Dr. Man left. I think I’ve done enough research on the topic of Is It Harder To Leave Or Be Left? (in reference to the two body problem). I have decided that it is harder to be the one Left. The Leave-er, if you will, gets to focus on the journey home. Then, once he/she arrives home there is the inevitable focus on getting one’s life at Current Location back in order. The Leave-ee, however, has nothing to focus on and all he/she has is the memories of the time that was spent together.

Yes, the Leave-ee could go to the lab, the grocery store, or clean the apartment. That would require the energy and will to do so, though. Normally, I like going to the lab on the weekends. There’s no one there so I can hog the equipment and space. However, the thought of going into the lab with the depressing results and the isolation makes me grimace at the very thought. The grocery store requires dealing with pushy people in carts, oblivious girls on cell phones, and couples together doing their regular Sunday shopping. There is always cleaning, but why should I punish myself?

Hence, I’m sitting here thinking about making dinner, pouring myself a glass of wine, and reading some novel with very little literary merit. Just to distract myself a little bit.

Posted in LDR | 4 Comments

Coffee and Ethidium Bromide, II

Posted on February 22, 2008 by Amanda

Again, I have a few posts on the back burner that I’d like to write, or finish, but I’m busy. Ergo, another edition of Coffee and Ethidium Bromide!

I’d like to extend a double mocha latte to Katie and MadHatter for the award of their E! (I’m still smiling.) A round of hot chocolate to my friends that came over for our impromptu gathering.

A large cup of tea to Advisor for (finally!) getting around to asking someone about the yeast deletion strain I need. But an entire bottle of EtBr to the Universe for making that strain impossible to make (for my purposes). It seems a deletion of that gene causes the yeast to go rho zero, which is a pretty major problem for me (now that’s a clue as to what I study!). So, it seems that that I’ll have to do some homologous recombination and lots of work to test my hypothesis. Plus, extra work to get stuff ready in time for the abstract deadline for Major European Conference. A pretty large bottle at that.

Warm apple cider to my committee members for making my meeting fairly painless. However, I did have a fairly bad time of it last night; so a microcentrifuge tube of EtBr to strange brain functions. And, last, but not least a large, steaming mug of coffee to Residency School for letting Dr. Man leave early today to come visit!

Posted in Coffee and EtBr | 2 Comments

What I learned from my committee meeting today

Posted on February 21, 2008 by Amanda

1. They are not as scary as I orignally thought.
2. At least one of them has no idea as to what to say about my project.
3. All of them need to be reminded as to when/where is the committee meeting.
4. Do not write a six month progress report on two glasses of wine.
5. Keep up with the literature.
6. Make like a boy scout; be prepared.
7. Do not schedule long experiments around the meeting time. The experiments will run over.
8. Remember they have control over your graduation; control the instinctual sarcastic response.
9. Eat something before an afternoon meeting. This will avoid embarrassing stomach noises.

And the most important thing I learned:

10. Provide food. People, including committee members, will not talk with their mouth full. The trick is to keep it full more often than not.

Posted in Grad School | 7 Comments

Impromptu Gathering

Posted on February 20, 2008 by Amanda

Yesterday morning Roommate had just finished her final. She came down to my lab and asked me do you want to go to the Independent Grocery Store (IGS) this afternoon. (IGS has a wonderful selection of– and great prices on– wine. And organic coffee… yum.) I told her sure and that I’ll be home around 6pm. An hour later, I get a phone call from Roommate saying that I can pick you up from the seminar after it’s over (at 5pm) instead of you taking the bus. I thought that was an excellent idea.

I left the building after the seminar and saw Roommate waiting outside. But, before we drove off, we saw our friend, and fellow grad student and neighbor, Kim. We rolled down the window and yelled out to her. She came over and asked for a ride home. We told her sure, but we’re stopping by IGS to get some wine. She got into the car. On our way to IGS we discovered that we had coupons to Local Pizza Joint. So, we added as stop there. We asked Kim do you want to join us for some pizza and wine. She told us yes, but I have to walk the dog first. Then, Roommate called Lindsey and I called Best Friend to invite them over. And our gathering grew.

So, by the time 7pm rolled around, we were all gathered around the dining room table eating pizza and drinking wine and talking about the people we know, don’t know, the world at large, science, non-science, and everything in between. Occasionally one of us would start “dorking out” about our particular branch of science and that would require explanation to the non-science people at the table and some creative analogies (such as, fate mapping is sort of like following a piece of chocolate to its final form… ok, it’s like a grape to wine… and now I drink the wine…). One thing that did surprise me was that even in our off hours, we still discussed our science. Maybe, as a group, we’re a bit more obsessive than we’d like to think. Or more dedicated at least.

The evening stretched until about 11pm, when Roommate and I said Here’s your hat. What’s your hurry? And locked the door behind them. It was a much better way to spend the evening than reading papers and moping over missing Dr. Man.

Posted in Friends | 4 Comments

A Fine Line

Posted on February 19, 2008 by Amanda

I was walking the Dixie Dog this morning and I realized that as of this moment, I feel like I have a good handle on my life. The next thought that occurred to me was that this hold is rather precarious. The more I thought the more I realized that I am one long experiment, one overslept day, one late night away from losing that hold. My system, my feeling, of “balance” (isn’t that such a buzzword?) is a complex, nebulous, odd, ill-defined algorithm.

There are certain things that I need to do in my life in order for it to feel fulfilled. I need to do successful (as well as many unsuccessful ones) experiments in the lab, go for a walk/run with the Dixie Dog, talk to Dr. Man on a daily basis, keep my apartment clean, eat, read something non-scientific and insightful, read something scientific and interesting, read something non-scientific and frivolous, sleep, socialize with people in science, socialize with people outside of science, spend time alone, spend time on hobbies (which are scandalous… cross-stitching and playing the keyboard), and many other things. And there appears to be some sort of internal calculation that goes on inside myself as to when one of these key components to my life is lacking.

After spending all day in the lab by myself, I crave human contact. However, add one person to the mix (be it Roommate or Labmate or Advisor) and I crave alone time. I enjoy reading, but I need to have a variety of materials at hand to keep me happy. I go through periods where all I want to do is read about my own research and times where all I want to do is read about something completely not in my field. So, I’m a series of contradictions.

After all this whining, I do have to say that I’m learning what I have to do to keep myself on an even keel. I now know that after a late night at the lab, I need to take the morning off to drink coffee and do some frivolous reading. Too much time spent on my hobbies will make me hate them and look upon them as a job. But I definitely need to exercise. every. day.

So, maybe this post does serve a purpose. So far, it has made me sit down and actually think about the things I need to do to keep me happy. And knowing is half the battle.

Posted in work habits | 4 Comments