I’m writing this just twenty minutes after Dr. Man left. I think I’ve done enough research on the topic of Is It Harder To Leave Or Be Left? (in reference to the two body problem). I have decided that it is harder to be the one Left. The Leave-er, if you will, gets to focus on the journey home. Then, once he/she arrives home there is the inevitable focus on getting one’s life at Current Location back in order. The Leave-ee, however, has nothing to focus on and all he/she has is the memories of the time that was spent together.
Yes, the Leave-ee could go to the lab, the grocery store, or clean the apartment. That would require the energy and will to do so, though. Normally, I like going to the lab on the weekends. There’s no one there so I can hog the equipment and space. However, the thought of going into the lab with the depressing results and the isolation makes me grimace at the very thought. The grocery store requires dealing with pushy people in carts, oblivious girls on cell phones, and couples together doing their regular Sunday shopping. There is always cleaning, but why should I punish myself?
Hence, I’m sitting here thinking about making dinner, pouring myself a glass of wine, and reading some novel with very little literary merit. Just to distract myself a little bit.
Distraction is always a good bet when you can’t stop thinking about long distance relationships!
I completely agree with you that it is a million times harder to be the one left behind. I always tell Husband that he gets to go “back” to something, whereas I am left with the obvious absence of him – all of his stuff, his presence, his wet towel, etc. I think its much harder.
Hugs! (and I would be looking for some chocolate and a distraction as well)
Yes, being left is harder. My distraction is cleaning. When Dr R headed off back to the UK a couple of weeks ago, I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom (admittedly not a big task), rearranged all the furniture, did all the laundry…great distraction. Your way sounds alot less tiring.
If the leave-er has very little support system and nothing but work where they are living, it can be difficult to leave an established life full of home, pets, friends and a routine. I think both are equally bad, requiring chocolate and wine.