Unfocused

For some reason my mind is very fragmented today. I have the attention span of a gnat right now. I’m currently trying to focus on my journal club presentation (I picked a fun article for me, too. So, I’m actually sort-of excited about the whole presentation thing, but I just can’t concentrate today. Eh.), but it isn’t really working out for me. I figured this out when I read the same sentence three times. So, here are my top ten reasons for having the attention span of a two-year old today:

10. The switching to an early-morning schedule is taking its toll. Perhaps this is my brain’s way of going on strike. It has decided that since I insist on waking it up too early that it’ll just stop working.
9. The afternoon-lunch-slump. I have this theory that my behavior is really just a function of warring needs. The main two being: food and sleep. Once one is taken care of, the other rears its ugly head and demands to be satisfied. And I’m just distracted by the sleep-need. Or something like that.
8. Lack of caffeine. This isn’t to say that I’ve ingested less caffeine today, but perhaps I need to titrate up my caffeine-blood levels.
7. The weather is rather cloudy today and wasn’t there a study about attention and weather? I have plenty of anecdotal evidence to support the cloudy whether leads to increased sleepiness and lack of focus.
6. Perhaps I was hypnotized so that whenever I read the phrase, “The evidence suggests…”, I immediately have the urge to go look at lolcats and the like.
5. I, suppose, that instead of my brain being on strike, it could just be worn out. Maybe I worked it too hard yesterday and it needs a rest. Perhaps a beer even– you know, as a reward for its hard work.
4. Due to an unbloggable event, I get tomorrow off unexpectedly. So, I already feel like it’s the weekend and just want to go home. Nah, couldn’t be.
3. I’ve heard that being dehydrated causes distraction. So, perhaps I’m dehydrated and I need more water or beer.
2. Chocolate-deficient. I’ve yet to have my daily dose of chocolate and, perhaps, that’s the key to my academic success (or at least to my spreading waistline).

And last, but not least:
1. It could be that reading blogs is just slightly more interesting than reading papers. Perhaps.

Posted in Grad School, Random | 13 Comments

Going off the drugs

I previously mentioned that I was tapering off of my antidepressants. I’ve been off of “the drugs” for about 6 weeks now and it’s had some interesting side effects (which are happily gone now). After searching the internet to figure out if I was alone in these (specific) side effects, I found either (A) a long list of side effects that included everything from increased thirst to stroke, or (B) a diatribe that stated that antidepressants are satan in pill form (and that their prescribers are his minions). I suppose I can conclude that I’m not alone, but I don’t know if I’m in the best company either. But there has to be other people out there who fall somewhere in the middle, so I figure heck I’ll blog about it and that way if someone happens upon this post at least they’ll find some other company.

First, the usual caveats about this: I’ve been under a doctor’s supervision during the entire time of the taper and I have periodic check-ins for the next few months. So, she’s ostensibly checking for the really bad side effects (suicidal thoughts, death, etc.). Plus, I did a really slow taper. (If you’re curious: I went from 40 mg to 30 mg over about two weeks. Then, down to 20 mg over the same time period, but I stayed at 20 mg for about a month. Then, I went to 10 mg for a week. Finally, I finished with a week of 10 mg every-other-day.) And from what I understand that helps. However, I don’t think I would’ve done this without my doctor watching over my shoulder, there are some unusual side effects that I would’ve freaked out over otherwise!

The weirdest side effect I’ve had is something that my doctor told me are referred to as “brain zaps.” These started about three days after I completely stopped the medication. I’ve tried describing them to people and I think it’s impossible. The closest I can come with is it’s like one of those old-fashioned flash bulbs from cameras going off inside my brain. It starts somewhere towards the middle of my brain and this electric-light-like pulse balloons out to the surface of my brain. It’s a bit disorientating and somewhat scary. I couldn’t find a correlation with head movement, body position, time of day, food status, hydration, etc. I experienced them frequently once they started (somewhere in the vicinity of 15 times/day), but later they tapered down to about 3 times/day and are now completely gone (they only lasted about two weeks). In case you’re wondering, I didn’t drive during the frequent time period.

The least expected side effect I’ve had is increased thirst. I was thirsty all the time, even though I wasn’t not remotely dehydrated. I was drinking something like 5 liters a day. Between the water and the bathroom, I’m amazed that I got anything done in lab.

And Last But Not Least, the worst side effect: increased irritability. My doctor told me that it wasn’t not what I feared– relapse– but a “re-setting of my neurochemistry.” It’s not a relapse until some specific time period has elapsed (I’m not sure about the exact length of that time period). So, until my brain reset itself, what little patience I normally had was gone. And by gone I mean non-existant. Dealing with FlightyUndergrad was a herculean task (and, no, this is not me exagerrating). I actually sent her home early one day because, otherwise, I may have started on a very quiet, but forceful rant on how she needs to pay attention to the warnings I give her and that when I say to write something down I’m not doing it for my health.

On the bright side I didn’t experienced any of these symptoms: heart attack, stroke, nausea, or teeth grinding.

Posted in Unsolicited Advice | 10 Comments

Wow! For me?

A while ago Heather J at Age 30- A Year of Books and Brigindo of Dirt and Rocks awarded me with the Brillante Award.

I was (and am) flattered, but at the time I was incredibly busy (and without internet access). So, I never got around to passing on such lovely awards. Then, recently, Jennie at Just A Girl deemed me worthy of the Arte y Pico Award and the Brillante award!

I decided that I had to pass these awards on. So, here are the rules:

1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate at least seven other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on your blog.
5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

I’d like to nominate:

Disgruntled Julie for her super-human acts not only in the lab, but in her life as well. How she manages to work 14 hour days and make dinner, I’ll never know.
Wayfarer Scientista for her lovely posts. Her posts are always beautifully written and have wonderful pictures, too!
Scientist Mother who is not afraid to write about the messiness of grad school.
Journeys of an Academic is an excellent and thought-provoking writer. She always makes me think about my position on various topics and I love that.
Science Girl for making me laugh with her Anecdote Monday posts and for the commiseration of making it through grad school.
Aunt Becky for my daily dose of snark. And she reminds me of the absurdity of it all. (Trust me, at Public U. absurd is the operative word.)
Nicky who is in grad school, pregnant, and who is concerned with the things that actually matter.

Posted in Blogging Fun | 6 Comments

In which our heroine tries to become a morning person

It is no secret that I am not a morning person. According to my parents I have never been a morning person. From a wee babe I stayed up late and then would not wake up in the morning (however, apparently, I would awake prior to then demanding food, a diaper change, or attention– and sometimes all three at once. This information comes from my mother, though, and her hours in labor extend from somewhere between 10 and 72; so, she is perhaps not the most reliable of sources.). So, why would I decide to upset this streak of late risings? I’ll tell you why, for the love of a man. Or at least his parking decal.

See, here at Public U. a parking decal isn’t so much a license to park on campus as it is a license to hunt (for a parking space). This is why I was riding my bike to work. Notice the key word: was. Dr. Man, as a resident, has a kick-ass parking decal. It is the holy grail of parking decals. Angels descended from the heavens and a chorus sang the Hallelujah Chorus when he purchased it. It’s all rainbows and sunshine and it’s a ten minute walk to my lab. Ergo, I ride in with Dr. Man. This is a problem, though, because he, unlike me, has an actual schedule. He has appointments with patients who won’t accept the “Eh, I don’t feel like getting out of bed so do you think we can reschedule this for later?” excuse. He, also, gets paid a real salary. And the Powers That Be expect him to meet with his first patient at 8:00 AM. As in Ante Meridiem.

So, now I wake up at 6:30 AM (again with that stuff) and roll out of bed. And proceed directly to the coffee machine where freshly brewed coffee is waiting for me (God Bless Cuisinart Automatic Grind and Brew). About 20 minutes later I’ve woken up enough to realize that I need to move on to showering/dressing/etc. Somewhere in there I ingest breakfast and pour myself a travel cup of coffee.

After doing this for a few weeks I have found the main advantage of arriving to the lab early: no one else is there. This means that I am free to use any piece of equipment I want and there are no distractions. I have been oh-so-productive prior to noon so far. Then, about noon everyone else trickles in and my day is shot. Well, not shot exactly, but slowed down.

I have also found the main con of this schedule: I could fall asleep by 10 pm most nights.

Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

Continuing the confessional streak…

After admitting my horrible TV taste, Mad Hatter decided that I should unleash my music collection on everyone. So, here are my top five most embarrassing songs.

Drops of Jupiter by Train (I still sing along with this song)
Get Mine Get Yours by Christina Aguilera (Especially embarrassing when your Advisor– who usually isn’t there on the weekends– comes in.)
Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse (A guy who I was sort-of seeing dedicated this song to me on the radio. Except that I never listened to the station he used. I was told this by a friend and immediately went out and got the song, so I could fake it. I felt awful! Although, not about the faking, but about missing the grand gesture.)
Outside by Staind (And, yes, that is spelled correctly)
Hot Dog by Limp Bizkit (I think it quite possibly could be the most profane song of all time.)

Oh! And I could go on. But I’ll spare you and not do that. However, any of you out there who laughed, giggled, snorted, or rejoiced in the fact that you didn’t have to do this– tag! You’re it!

Posted in Meme | 6 Comments

A Scene From the Home Front

I believe I have confessed before at Unbalanced Reaction’s place that I have a predilection for bad TV. After my trip abroad (I smile every time I use that phrase as it sounds so worldly and sophisticated and pretentious), I found out that one of my favorites– Project Runway– had started a new season! For those of you not familiar with the wonder that is Project Runway, it’s one of those pseudo-reality shows. Each episode involves some fashion-design challenge (like make a dress using old gum wrappers! And cellophane!), the contestants are judged, and one person gets kicked off. With a “plot” like that, I, of course, must watch.

I was watching the start of the latest episode, when Dr. Man comes in from making dinner.

“Your watching that? I’m pretty sure I just heard your IQ drop.”

My clever reply was something along the lines of Shhh! And Dr. Man plopped down on the couch. We both watch as the designers– with Tim Gunn– stand on an indoor track and wait for some mysterious figure on rollerblades(!) to reach them. Finally the mysterious guy reaches them and Dr. Man gasps, “Apolo Ohno!” Confused, I look at him for more information– how does he know someone on Project Runway? Luckily, Dr. Man explained further, “Apolo Ohno is awesome. He is like unto a Ninja.”

(Later Tim Gunn explained that Ohno won the gold in speed skating. Ah yes, speed skating = Ninja. Of course!)

Posted in Random | 10 Comments

Conferencing

I have a good few minutes between incubations, so I’m updating. I’m sure the most pressing question on everyone’s mind is: What did I wear to the conference? Well, I traded in my usual uniform of a solid color T-shirt and jeans for a solid color T-shirt and a pair of khaki, black, or grey pants. That seemed to work out pretty well. I was dressed up more than some people there (a notable example of this is Cool But Important Scientist who wore a faded black T-shirt, orange pants, and a black blazer to give his talk) and less than others (One person presented with a tie on– as well as the usual complement of clothing). I think I managed to look professional, but not trying too hard (however, when Advisor first saw me he said, “You do have other clothes!” I was flattered that he noticed, but I think he was just relieved that I wasn’t wearing the paint covered pair of khakis he last saw me in.).

As for the actual conference itself, well, I thought it was pretty good. Most of the science was really well done with a few notable exceptions (which I won’t go into except to say: on a ten hour day, please do not waste my time by presenting 30 year old data– that I’ve read). My poster was up and I got a few questions about the techniques I’m using (I’m not sure why, though, it’s not exactly ground-breaking at this time). I didn’t get much input, though. I was hoping that I would, but maybe yeast people are too shy?

However, I had forgotten how exhausting it was to be at a conference all day! Plenary lectures in the morning, followed by lunch, then poster presentations, and finally symposiums. I suppose that I tried to do too much. It’s my over-active guilt complex, I think. If Advisor is paying all this money for me to be able to go to this conference, then I should get the most out of it that I possibly can. So, I try to go to all sorts of interesting-sounding lectures. If nothing else, I learned a good bit about research that’s going on outside of my area of interest, which was difficult. I don’t have an in-depth background on lots of areas outside of Interesting Enzyme, so the symposiums were difficult for me to understand. I’d end up reading the abstracts during the first few minutes the presenter was talking in order to understand what they were doing. Before each symposium I’d promise myself to read the abstracts of the upcoming presenters during the coffee break, but I’d end up meeting people instead. So, I continued to sit in the back and be rude.

In between lectures, symposiums, etc. Advisor did a good job of introducing Labmate and me to various people in our field. I got my biggest thrill when one person I met at Small New England Conference two years ago remembered me and what I was working on! (I was just finishing my first year in the lab and had a poster presentation on my rotation project.) I don’t think I did the greatest job at networking, but I tried a bit. I’m just not naturally a social person and it’s rather difficult for me to talk with people I don’t know very well. (I could have used The Alternative Scientist’s Guide To Networking, but, alas, it was mostly posted while I was away.) I did manage to have some science-related discussions with Important Scientists and other graduate students (there were precious few of us there). The evening before the end of the conference a group of graduate students got together for a social event and I joined in. Good times were had and I think the amount of drunkeness was kept to a minimum by all.

Overall, I had a good time there and it (almost) got me fired back up to do Experiments for Damned Yeast Project. I’ll post pictures whenever I remember to download them to my computer. And there’s the timer! Off I go.

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Head Underwater

I promise that I’ll eventually post about my conference and vacation. However, I found out that in the next month I have to present at Journal Club (this is the kind where you research and present the paper– not lead a discussion), give a lecture in Advisor’s class (I actually volunteered for this– it makes sense, I promise), and have a Committee Meeting. Plus, I got some rather unsettling news at Major European Conference that’s requiring me to work extra hard.

So, I’ll post when breathing gets easier.

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Blog posts galore!

I’ve finally made it home and google reader is filled to bursting! I’m rather impressed, but with 500 posts to read, I’m going to be a while getting back to everyone. And I’m a bit jet-lagged, so I’ll post a real post later this week, hopefully!

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I’m leaving for the Emerald Isle tomorrow for Major European Conference. After much deliberation, I decided to leave my computer at home. I figured that week one would consist of lots of science exposure and that week two would be a vacation without computers. So, blogging will be a bit sporadic. However, I’ll probably check-in with the internet a lot (as that’s how I’ll primarily communicating with Dr. Man– he couldn’t get the time off and I had to make the plane reservations before he could even apply for the time… sigh).

I think I have everything packed and ready to go. I’m sure I’ve forgotten something, but I’m sure I’ll be able to pick whatever it is up there. I mean, the Emerald Isle isn’t some horrible wasteland, after all. In fact, I’ve heard the opposite so there may be pictures when I get back!

Posted in Uncategorized | 13 Comments