My life is pretty boring right now. Most of it consists of me waking up going into lab, coming home, and sleeping. So, now that I’ve caught you up on the past two weeks, I’ll tell you the latest news (that you already know if you follow me on twitter). My Advisor didn’t get the grant supplement, so now I have a hard graduation deadline of next summer. Otherwise, you know, no money for my salary and project next fall. That’s the biggest news around these parts. I’ve got a committee meeting next month and at that time I’m going to give them an outline of experiments that I think I can get done in the next four or so months (I’m working with Advisor on this and he’s explaining the reason for this– so he’s advocating for me).
This bugs me on all sorts of levels. Mainly I hate the idea of doing the bare minimum. That isn’t what I want for my thesis. I hate the idea of being just adequate. I want to do everything that I proposed in my quals. All the experiments are interesting and cool and scientifically the right things to do. The thing is that I know this project will eventually get funded, but not in time for me (Advisor is planning on submitting either next cycle or the one after). So, I know that someone will do this stuff, but it won’t be me.
I'm sorry to hear about your disappointing news 🙁 I'm sure you can do it by summer – can you take some of these potential experiments with you to a job post-graduation?
I'm sorry 🙁 Have you checked with your university/department regarding dissertation writing grants? I think that there are also some professional societies and charitable organizations that offer dissertation writing grants. I have a friend who was put in a similar situation and worked as a TA while writing her dissertation. Not the optimal arrangement, but it paid the rent.
Re: doing the 'bare minimum', I think regardless of the funding situation, there's always going to be more that you want to do before you leave. And many times, the most interesting stuff seems to come at the end. You do what you can in the time you have… it sucks to feel like you're leaving things undone, but at the same time, it's important to move on to the next thing and leave some crumbs for a successor to follow 🙂
That is disappointing news and I'm sorry to hear it. Unfortunately I think there is a lot of that going around these days. However I do agree with biochem belle, you will always feel like there is something you didn't get done and it certainly doesn't sound like you've been doing the bare minimum in the time you've been there. Ultimately it is more important to finish and get on to the next step so that eventually you'll be doing your own projects. Of course even then you'll feel like you're doing the bare minimum no matter how much you actually do. It is the nature of academic science I think.
There is a lot of this going around these days. I am in the same boat. I've come to terms with the fact that my dissertation won't include everything that I thought it would, but it's still not ideal. Sorry that you're feeling the same way about yours. On the other hand, it does give advisors extra motivation to advocate and advise so that you *can* get out sooner. Not all of them need extra motivation (though some certainly do) but it can't hurt either. Good luck and I'm sorry for your disappointment.
People aren't supposed to do everything they wrote about in their quals. Quals or candidacy or whatever you call it are meant to provide a robust enough project such that you have work to fall back upon if your #1 priority doesn't work out. Expecting to finish it all is setting yourself up for disappointment.
At least you now know you won't be there forever! The news may have been abrupt and unwelcome, though. I doubt that you are "merely adequate," despite what it may feel like sometimes. You sound detail-oriented and perhaps perfectionistic, not usually signs of mere adequacy. Hope the coming week will look brighter!
That sucks, but it's true, you won't be there forever. My committee decided they really DID want to see everything in my quals, and then some. And I'm still here…
Sorry to hear about the funding/diss situation. Maybe you can still collaborate or contribute to the future projects despite finishing up before they are done? I'm sure things like that differ between labs and subfields but maybe?
I have a feeling you might be a bit hard on yourself and your idea of bare minimum well exceeds something that is just adequate! As someone mentioned, getting out sooner will be good to get you started on your own. A less than extensive dissertation can still get you to a place and once you are on your own will be the time to really run with things.
I'm really sorry.
PG: Probably not. There's not a lot of people in the country that works on this stuff. More importantly, though, Advisor is using these experiments as specific aims for his next grant.
Biochem Belle: I've talked recently with Advisor and he said that the department would cover my writing time if I needed it. So, that's good. 🙂 As far as the bare minimum goes, I was naive enough to think that I'd be the one grad student to finish all of her aims. It's hard for me to let that ideal go.
Brigindo: It does seem pretty common around here– I've had some time to ask around. That might be true about no matter how much I do, I'll still feel like it's not enough. I feel like I could work nonstop and it would still not be enough.
AA: That is true. Advisor has upped his advocacy for me graduating. I do like the next summer idea better than spring 2011.
CE: I did set myself up for disappointment. Because I'm supposed to be super-grad-student and complete everything, right?
Silver Fox: I am a perfectionist. When I was writing up my (one) manuscript, Advisor had to pry it out of my hands. He told me that it didn't have to be perfect, just "good enough."
Scicurious: You win! That sucks. Probably (ok, definitely) more so than my situation.
Albatross: I probably will be able to do that. Dr. Man has another year of his residency left, so I'll still be around. I haven't brought that up to Advisor yet, but we'll see.
Aunt Becky: Thanks. I know it's stupid to complain about, but, well, I don't like it.
Yes,I think thats a really bad thing.
I am also becoming more attached to my thesis, which is causing a lot of problems. It frustrates me when I dont get things done in the proper way.I know it will also be painful for me when I hae to finally leave the project knowing so much more could have been done.
I realized I had bookmarked a year and a half ago when I was having my own crisis. Back then, I didn't even have the time to write a blog. I finally defended my own diss in June after a harrowing final year of . And when I think back on my experience and the experiences of my friends right now, the biggest delay to finishing is/was our own perfectionism, our own not wanting to give up on the hundreds of experiments and ideas we've had. But a dissertation is actually just a work in progress, just a few chapters in your life's work that you'll be working on for the next 30-40 years. You'll have time and opportunities to continue your work after you finish–and you'll actually be paid for it. Don't burn out when you're just beginning!
And now that I'm working in industry since May, with unfortunately next to no science, I'm really starting to miss my learning something new that no one else on the planet knows every single day. (And yes, I'll probably start looking for a new job soon–but I'm continually asking, is it worth all the self-doubt to do research? This is, of course, another topic entirely.)
What's important is just to get finished before you're stuck eating ramen noodles. The "bare minimum" is already an incredible achievement. And you have to take care of your person so that you'll have one left to carry on the work.
All the best (and sorry that my small sympathetic comment has turned into a huge lecture).