A Series of Vignettes

I am a scientist (I think I can claim that even as a grad student, right?). I am a lady scientist. You see, I grew up in, what I affectionately refer to as, The Sticks. This particular region of The Sticks, however, was located in The South. For those of you not blessed to be from this particular locale, I will translate what this implies. (Translation) Two things are expected from females: (1) to be A Lady and (2) to land a man. I could write a very long treatise as to my true feelings on this, but I think it’s better illustrated in a series of vignettes.

——
In 4th grade at The Sticks Elementary School. We were making homemade flashlights to illustrate how to complete a circuit. Mine was not working.

Mr. Fourth Grade Teacher: I found the problem. Here you go.
Young Amanda: What was wrong with it?
Mr. FGT: One wire wasn’t making contact with the battery.
Young Amanda: So, is this how a light switch works?
Mr. FGT: Yes.
Young Amanda: But I thought we had electricity. Does the light switch stop the electricity? (Obviously, I did not completely grasp the electricity concept)
Mr. FGT: No.
Young Amanda: Then, what does that do?
Mr. FGT: Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to understand that; your husband will handle those bills.

——-
The Sticks Middle School, Career Day. Signing up for sessions with different professionals.

Awkward-aged Amanda: I want to talk with the doctor.
Ms. Middle School Parent: Ok, there’s still room in the nurse group. I’ll sign you up.
Awkward-aged Amanda: No, the doctor group. There’s still room in that, right?
Ms. MSP: Yes, but I would prefer to save those spaces for the boys who want to be doctors.
Awkward-aged Amanda: But why?

——-
The Sticks High School. Two Weeks Before Graduation.

18- year old Amanda: Hey, Male Friend! How’s it going?
Male Friend: Good. You know you don’t have to go to college, right?
18-YO Amanda: Yeah…
MF: I know that [Boyfriend At The Time] is not being… proper. I don’t think that’s right. I’ll help you.
18-YO Amanda: Huh?
MF: I know that we are not together. But I want you to know that I am going to make a good living and you will be provided for?
18-YO Amanda: Umm… what are you talking about?
MF: Amanda, I’ll marry you.
18-YO Amanda: Uh, MF, that’s very nice of you to offer. But I really do want to go to college.
MF (relieved): Oh ok. Are you sure?
18-YO Amanda: Yep.
(I’m not that cold-hearted. We continued talking after this.)

——
I may have gone to college, majored in chemistry, and want to work (even though I have “a man.”), but I contend that it does not make me any less of A Lady. Even though, my hometown may want to disown me.

Posted in scientiae-carnival | 15 Comments

Pacing

I’ve talked in the past about my rather chaotic work patterns. So, during this two week stint of constant working, I decided to try to pace myself. This means that instead of working 8-10 hour days for the entire two weeks, I did 8-10 hour days only during the weekdays and let myself only work 5 hour days on the weekend. This resulted being calm, relaxed, and (relatively) sane on day 9 (today). As opposed to me being woefully unhappy and stressed to the max.

Plus, I’ve been abnormally productive. I’m waiting on a couple of backordered items for Very Important Project. This means that I was able to finish up my bit on Collaborative Project. (As an aside: I’m having an interesting dilemma on this project. Labmate suggested that I try to get an authorship on any resulting paper, because I’ve made the plasmid and will be helping my undergrad– rather extensively– on doing the biochemistry. However, I think that the interesting results will come from Collaborator(s) and, in that respect, all I will have done is make the plasmid. So, I’m not quite sure what to do about this.) Also, I’ve been able to make headway on Interesting High-Risk Project. I’m ready to do some preliminary experiments… at last!

Overall, I’m pretty pleased how these past nine days have gone and I’m glad that I can (finally) share some good news!

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Coffee and Ethidium Bromide

I have the beginnings to a few posts, but nothing that is really finished. And by finished, I mean coherent. So, instead you get the first edition of “Coffee and Ethidium Bromide.”

First with the good stuff. I’d like to award a large, steaming mug of coffee to the editors at Field Specific Journal for publishing my paper. It’s my first, first-author paper. I’m jumping-around excited. So, in that respect, I’d like to award a big jug of Ethidium Bromide for Labmate to drink for making fun of me. Still, I’ll buy a round of coffee, and hot chocolate for those that prefer it, to my friends and Dad for being excited with me.

Another cup of coffee, or in his case: tea, to Advisor for complimenting me on the experiment I proposed to him and for encouraging me to talk about others. [I’m always nervous that he, or anyone else, will think that my ideas are stupid.] Though, I’d give him a dropper full of Ethidium Bromide for being somewhat abrupt with my undergrad this week. She told me that she had to do school stuff and work this weekend to make up for it. I ok’d it. However, today [when she came in] I had to call Advisor off before he gave her the “you-must-show-up-every-day” talk.

I’ll award the administration at Public U Specialty Department an espresso for getting Dr. Man a contract for next year, finally! However, the old chair and residency director in Specialty Department can take-this-EtBr-and-shove-it for jerking Dr. Man around up to this point.

And last, but not least, I’ll give SIL-1 a large mug of specialty hot chocolate for inviting me to go to a bridal convention in InLawTown. I can’t go, but she didn’t know that when she asked. I think I’m making headway in that situation.

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A Meme from the Canine Contingent

I saw this meme over at the Wayfarer Scientista’s and decided to do this meme in lieu of a regular post. Enjoy!

Here are 5 random facts from the Dixie Dog:

1. I am a very food-orientated dog. I will follow you to the ends of the earth for a piece of kibble. I have this trick (don’t tell anyone, though) where I put my ears back and look up at my Person’s guests to get food. They think that I’ve not eaten for weeks!

2. I can climb trees. Not straight up the trunk, but if there’s a limb close enough to the ground I can climb. It scares my Person, but I can get closer to the squirrels that way!

3. I will only go to sleep when covered by a blanket. Even when the air conditioning broke last July, I slept under a blanket.

4. I love car rides. And being with my Person. So, luckily I get to ride in a car (and be with my Person) often to go to Dodge. I love stopping at rest stops and investigating.

5. I like to go in pools. I won’t jump in or go above my head (that’s just crazy!). But I love to lay down on the second step. When my People come to get me out, I can make them go away when I make a big splash by slapping my paw into the water.

I’ll go ahead and tag any other dog that wants to do this meme!

Rules: Link to your tagger’s owner and post these rules on your blog.Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.

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The ties that bind

I’m trying to figure out how I feel/what to do about a situation. So, I’m using this space as a way to try to figure it out. What I’m trying to say is that I apologize in advance if this gets too ramble-y or whatnot. I’m just thinking aloud.

I came home to some interesting news yesterday. My sister-in-law (one of the many), SIL-1, just got engaged to man from Far Away Country. SIL-1 met Future Brother-in-Law (F-BIL) while studying abroad last year. I’ve yet to meet him, but I do hear that he’s a lovely, intelligent man. So, I am very happy for her.

SIL-1 and I have a acquaintance type relationship. I was very excited that I inherited three sisters when Dr. Man and I got married. [I had only a brother, Squirt. (Squirt is a childhood nickname and it’s stuck.)] However, I think that none of Dr. Man’s sisters really shared in my excitement of gaining a new sibling. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m naturally shy around people for the first several times we meet and they just never felt that I warmed up to them. Or if it’s that being in a large family makes the dynamic between people different. Either way, we never really became close like I had hoped we would.

I would like to try to become so, though. Family is very important to me. And I’ve been somewhat lazy about trying to strengthen our relationship in the past. However, now, she’s most likely moving to Far Away Country in about four months and it’s now more urgent to try. I’m not sure where to begin, though. We have different interests and points of view. [Well, to be honest, what intimidates me is that she’s a conservative Christian and I am not. She’s working for one such group and I tend to not agree with their way of thinking. So, I’m always worried that I may say the wrong thing and offend her.]

Then again, maybe I shouldn’t force it. That may put more strain on everyone concerned. We are different people. And sometimes these things just don’t work out. She may just find me boring (which would explain why she does not try to contact me). And maybe I should just be glad that this is the biggest drama in my family.

Anyhow, I invited her over for dinner tonight to celebrate the engagement. We’ll see how that goes.

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Privilege Meme

A number of people have done this meme. So, I thought I’d give it a whirl. It’s brought to you by:

This is based on “From What Privileges Do You Have?,” an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University.


I bolded what my “yes” answers.

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college

3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers I think I was at least.
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home I might have owned that many.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home. We made pretty heavy use of the library.
9. Were read children’s books by a parent
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 Yep, ballet, jazz, and piano.
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18. See above.
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively. I think they are… maybe
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs. Lots and lots of scholarships.
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs.
16. Went to a private high school.
17. Went to summer camp. This one time at band camp….
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18.
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels. They had to be. My mom hates camping.
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18. I’m the oldest girl-child on both sides of my family (including cousins and everyone). So, I either got stuff new or from garage sales.
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child. Only if my (and my sibling’s) finger-paint masterpieces count.
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house. However, I did live in The Sticks. So, this was pretty common. There weren’t a lot of developers (ergo, less apt complexes/duplexes)
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home.
25. You had your own room as a child. I was lucky
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18. Nope, but we did have a portable phone I’d use.
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course.
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school. My parent’s didn’t believe in having more than one TV. Otherwise what about family time?
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college.
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16. Yep, I went to visit my Aunt and Uncle who lived Out West.
31. Went on a cruise with your family. For my grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary.
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family. Well, my part of The Sticks was located in The South. So, some years we didn’t even use heat. A more appropriate question would be if I was unaware of the AC bills.

I got 17/34… I don’t know what that means.

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Mini-Retreat

After much internal debate, I’m currently in Dodge with Dr. Man. Barring Friday night, it’s been a relaxing weekend.

On Friday day, I had my entire week’s worth of experiments just turn out badly. I talked with Advisor about them and he (finally!) agreed with me on what the overall problem with these experiments (that the gene is not in the plasmid that we think it is and I may or may not be cutting out the correct part of the plasmid). However, he made me feel like a moron when he told me that next week he wants to watch me do my experiments.

::Begin Rant:: Grrr. I’m not a frigging moron. I can do simple DNA digests and ligations. I’ve done them before and they’ve worked. Plus, if he would have just spent the money to buy a plasmid with that gene or talked to the guy we got this plasmid from (to inform him that it was incorrect and the correct plasmid would be appreciated), I wouldn’t have wasted all this time! He doesn’t do this with labmate (want to stand over his shoulder)… ever. ::End Rant::

So, that was a pretty big blow to my self-esteem. However, Dr. Man pointed out that it was doubtful that Advisor would actually stand over my shoulder and that I’m not incompetent. (As I’ve had other experiments, etc. work out just fine and dandy.)

Because of all this I almost decided not to visit Dr. Man this weekend. I feel guilty about taking time off because nothing worked last week and that the deadline for abstract submission is coming up so soon (mid-March).* I feel like I should be working twice as hard because nothing is working. On the other hand, I would be unhappy to not see Dr. Man for three weeks. He’s very important to me and he helps keep me sane. And the less I see him the more distracted I become in the lab (and that causes me to make more mistakes). So, I decided the two and half days that I would take off would balance things out. Or at least that has been my justification.

So, I’m here in Dodge. I’ve not done much work-wise. I’ve read part of a journal article that discusses a method I’m going to use in the near future, but aside from that I’ve done nada. Yesterday we hung out, we each read a book (I read The Amber Spyglass), went out to dinner (yum.. Mexican), and watched a movie with a friend (Hot Fuzz). Today Dr. Man is on-call. But he can take the majority of his call from home. So, I’ve been catching up on my blog reading and drinking coffee. He’s been reading and doing laundry intermittently. Later today, I think I’ll give the dog a bath and go grocery shopping for Dr. Man (he can’t go because it’s too far away for call). As you can see, this hasn’t been a very exciting weekend, but I’m beginning to think that my justification might have actually been justified.

* I should note that Advisor is very flexible about me going to Dodge. I told him that I was going this weekend and he said that was fine and to drive safely.

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Ha, ha you’re a woman!

On Wednesday night, I ended up spending a lot of time in the lab. In fact I was in the lab from about 9:30 am- 2:30am (yeah, you do the math). To preface this, I’m always a bit, well, uncomfortable spending time in lab late at night.

I feel that this uncomfortable-ness is justified, though. Our building is connected to the hospital and there are no locked doors between the hospital and our building. Therefore, anyone who comes into the hospital can (and do) wander through our hallways. So, although I do lock the doors to the lab, I do feel a bit uneasy being in the lab at night. However, on Wednesday night I had company. My labmate (who is asking for permission to begin writing next Thursday) is in the throes of finishing up his last few experiments and is working off hours.

He, however, does think that I am overreacting. I found this out via a conversation we had that night.

Hey Labmate, I’m going to get water. Do you want any?, I asked him. Our water fountains are a good ways away from our lab. He didn’t want any so I left. And upon my arrival a few minutes later he asked, So, did you survive your mission?

Huh?, I replied.

You know, your mission to get water. I know that leaving the confines of the lab at night is high risk to you, he clarified.

Well, it is creepy here at night. No one around… no one to hear you scream, I told him.

I’m not scared here at night. It’s pretty much like it is during the day. You and Roommate are just paranoid, he said. (Roommate worked for our lab before going to grad school and she will most likely be joining our lab this summer.)

Well, aren’t you lucky. Besides I’m probably more of a target than you are because I’m a woman. I was being a bit defensive, perhaps.

Yep, I enjoy being a guy. It’s definitely good. No one is going to attack me, he bragged.

Thanks a bunch, I told him rather sarcastically.

No problem. Ha, ha you’re a woman!

Grrrr.

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Tick-tock

The other day I was talking to my friend, J, and we were discussing the infant epidemic that is surrounding us. It seems that sometime in the past year a group of people (each in our respective programs) went and had babies. We talked about the pros (awww cute baby to look at) and cons (possible career problems). We, also, have differing views with respect to having our own (as of yet) hypothetical children. I am somewhat scared of babies. I think I lack that instinct (or whatever) as to how to hold one, calm one, or otherwise deal with one (as an aside, I can change diapers. In fact, I’m really confident as to how to do that. So, whenever I’m with my friend K. I, actually, ask to change JJ’s diaper. So, as a note to people who know me: please, please ask me to change your kid’s diaper… just don’t ask me to hold them!). She, however, has a different view (as evidenced by the below conversation):

After a lull in the conversation:
Every so often, I hear this really loud ticking noise, J said abruptly. Just like I do right now.

Not hearing anything, I ask, Really? Are you sure you hear something?. I’m getting concerned for her hearing (and sanity)

Yep, she said, And then I just realize, ‘Shit! It’s my biological clock again!’

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How Dr. Man Got His Name

Dr. Man is one of the people in real life that I know reads this blog. (There may be others that I don’t know about, but they have yet to say anything.) Therefore, he is one of the people that know what pseudonym I use for them. The other day he asked why I called him that and if I could change his name to Dr. Awesome (which I still maintain was the name of our neighbor’s dog). So, with the bout of all the “name” posts recently, I decided I’d share why I call him that.

First, I thought about just calling him ‘Husband.’ However, I soon thought the better of it because Dr. Man is much more than just ‘Husband’ (although, that is one of the roles he fulfills in respect to me). Moreover, I would be highly insulted if he referred to me as ‘Wife’ in any context. So, that was out.

Second, I thought about calling him ‘Mr. Man.’ That was a code-name in high school for any guy that we (I am using the royal we; I don’t have multiple personality disorder) liked. We chose that because of some song that was out about that time that referred to my man. To add a bit of respect (and to avoid confusion with The Man, whom we raged against) we added a ‘Mr.’ to the front.

Finally, I thought that to neglect his hard-won and newly bestowed title would be a bit rude. Hence, Dr. Man. He has pointed out that this pigeonholes him in his roles of a doctor and a man. But I think Shakespeare was spot on with the name business. I told him that this name was only that: a name. A name is just one of many labels that one carries through out life. There are terms of endearment, nicknames, familial names (mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, etc.), and many others. I like to think that I’m enough of a diversified person that my name does not define me. That is why I changed my name when we got married.

He readily acquiesced.

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