I still enjoy blogging (and here’s the…) but I don’t have many exciting things to post about. However, it seems that everyone else is in the same boat and I figure no one is forced to read my blog. So, the worst that happens is that no one reads. And, hey, that’s not all that bad of a consequence.
This got me to thinking about consequences in the lab and, then, about roller coasters. Ok, this isn’t as tortured as one might think– so stay with me if you can. Now, I spend a lot of time in the lab. Too much time in the lab some might say (I’m looking at you, Dr. Man). But I’m trying to graduate– not any time too soon, but before December– and lots of time here tends to be a consequence of that. However, now that graduation is on my mind every experiment that doesn’t help me get there (failed or just not the expected result) I get very upset about. Conversely, every positive result makes me elated. (And now you can see where the roller coaster bit comes in.) I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster. Up one day and down the next.
Ok, it’s not that far apart. I get something that indicates a good result and a few hours later I start panicking over all the ways that it could just be a false positive. So, it’s more like up for a few hours down for a day. I’m trying to temper that attitude a bit. (I do tend to be an all-or-nothing kind of person.) This is a four-pronged process. (1) I allow myself a bit of excitement. (2) Remind myself of the caveats and that I still have confirming experiments to do. (3) Imagine the worst thing: It is a false positive and that I’m going to be here until December. (4) Remind myself that I have a back up plan (not raising alpacas, I mean, experiment-wise). And it’s Not. The. End. Of. The. World.
hang in there! i rarely comment but always read. reading this post, you're the polar opposite of my old lab mate who always expected the worst so he wouldn't be disappointed. i think somewhere between the 2 is best, but i haven't arrived there yet (overly optimistic!)….. it'll work out 🙂
If it helps, I am no where close to being done and am doing that, I think its all part of the game. Having a back up plan is a good thing.
You work so hard Amanda! I hope your ups and downs smooth into a nice happy medium. Get some rest!
Welcome to the final year 😛
Many grad students experience the same thing. I did-even after I had a postdoc lined up. (I'll admit, I still do experience the same feelings at times.) You will make it through, and it seems you're dealing with it pretty well. Best of luck.
ROFL at the post title….
My PI supervisor was a very keen sailor and used lots of nautical analogies (he didn't micromanage, he just had a firm hand on the tiller etc). We all agreed that the rollercoaster analogy doesn't really work, because the best part of a rollercoaster is when you're accelerating downwards. He got us using "peaks and troughs" (as in waves), because the deep troughs can be quite terrifying, but from the peaks – not only is it the best feeling in the world, but you can see all the upcoming troughs from there, laid out in front of you. This often led him into other analogies about the winds changing and having to reef the mainsail, any port in a storm etc, but they're far too numerous and complicated to get into here!
Either way, rollercoaster rides end, and boats come in to the home port for rest and restocking.
(Three and a half years of this. It was a bit much sometimes. But at least he took us out sailing once a year).
Hang in there, love.
I'm on the same roller coaster – and man, I'm exhausted! But it will be worth it, right?
Failed experiments are normal. That's okay. Sometimes you learn some really awesome stuff from failed experiments. Don't beat yourself up so much over this stuff, you are not supposed to be perfect. 🙂 Keep up the good work!
Okay, Amanda, here's a fun distraction for ya … you've been tagged over at my place.
Enjoying your blog, whenever you post 🙂
Q&S Adventures: I was overly optimistic before and now I'm trying to be more even keeled. Mostly because the crash was so hard when things didn't work out. But I know a lot of people who don't feel that crash, so being "overly optimistic" may work out best for you. 🙂
SM: I function best with contingency plans. It helps me not be so anxious about the worst case scenario. And you're right it's all part of the game!
PD: I'm taking today off, so that's a start. 🙂
Biochem Belle: Thanks and I'm glad I'm normal.
Alejandro: Thanks:) WTF, mate? 🙂
Cath: Maybe Peaks and Troughs are a better analogy. And at least you got to go sailing! (I don't know, though. I think that would've driven me crazy!)
Aunt Becky: Thanks! 🙂
PG: That's what I tell myself!
CE: But if I was perfect I'd graduate sooner! 😉 I do need to remind myself that I don't need to be perfect.
CT: Thanks! I'm going to get on that!