A Lady Scientist- Blog

Something partially worked. Well, it has worked enough that I know what’s wrong and it can be fixed and I can get salvageable stuff out of this and it’s wonderful. Strangely enough I don’t feel like quitting now. I feel like celebrating.

In my effort to milk this for as many posts as possible to make it through EcoGeoFemme’s interview questions, I bring you this question:

How is the biking to work going?

Well, it’s going not so great. See a few months ago someone stole the front wheel to my bike. Without a front wheel and my inability to ride a unicycle, my bike riding into work was brought to an abrupt halt. I didn’t immediately go out and buy a new front wheel because, well, I bought my bike off of craigslist for $35 and a new wheel cost somewhere around $50. Last week I found one for $5 on craigslist (from a campus police auction). So, I rode in this weekend. 13 miles round trip. Worst. Idea. Ever.

My butt is so sore, it’s not even funny (ok, maybe it is). It’s not my legs that are the problem, but from where I sat on the saddle. See, the manufacturer provided seat has approximately no padding. That was 13 very bumpy miles on that seat.

Advisor has been asking me to sit down all day. I have yet to tell him why I can’t. Somehow I feel that would be over the line.

Apparently, I’m not the only person who has ever considered quitting and doing something else. I enjoy science (well, not as much recently), but, as I’ve been told, Science is Not A Care Bear Tea Party. I think that comment is supposed mean that if you can’t handle the heat get out of the kitchen or some other (similar) cliche. Well, let me tell you I’m definitely not too happy with the heat right now. The whole non-progress issue is coupled with Advisor having been gone (and by gone, I mean no contact with anyone) for the past 6-8 weeks.

Advisor is normally pretty good. He’s around often and will help with the whole troubleshooting process. He does well on the mentoring front, too. The only downside of this is that I’m not good at scavenging for help. Usually how this goes is that I scour the internet (and books and articles) to find a possible solution. Then, I try it. When that doesn’t work, I’ll repeat the aforementioned scouring. After a couple of tries at this, I’ll knock on Advisor’s door and ask for help. Having another set of eyes look at my problem (or just to tell me to trust the data I’m getting), not to mention encouragement, is helpful. So, now I’m trying to get other people to help me and it’s just been strange (on the plus side I’ve gotten a bit over my shyness).

Let me tell you, though, this perseverance thing is tough. The getting out of bed in the morning to face the day thing becomes tough, too. Because I know that I’m heading into lab to either (a)tweak something and that may not (or may– I’m just not too optimistic right now) solve my problem or (b) find out that what I did in (a) didn’t solve my problem. This pretty much sucks all the joy out of science-ing. Never fear, though, I’m continuing to show up, try things, and pester Prof-that-is-intimidating-and-his-grad-students-haven’t-a-clue-as-to-what-I’m-doing-wrong.

Anyhow, where does this leave me? I mean, besides the extra wine that I’ve been drinking and the running I’ve been taking. (As an aside, it was once suggested that we change the motto of our program to: “Don’t drink? Well, [Program] is a great time to start!.”) Well, I know that I won’t quit until I get this experiment to work. After that I may not want to quit (as Scicurious noted, the getting of data usually provides a boost) and that’s a likely outcome. But it may mean that this life isn’t for me.

I have thoughts about things, but nothing really coherent. So, I figured I’d start a list:

• This is the first time that I’ve seriously considered quitting grad school. I know that I have enough to master out and that I could find a job in the area. And maybe I just don’t want to do this anymore. But I won’t quit because I don’t want the projects to win (Damned Yeast Project and Pretty Colored Project– the latter really needed a new name). So, I’ve made a deal with myself. I can quit as soon as I get both of those projects to work. Pretty Colored Project really isn’t that big of an issue as it’s making progress right now. However, Advisor really wants Damned Yeast Project to pull ahead because it’ll work better grant-wise. I agree, but, for crying out loud, let me work on the one that’s making progress! Anyhow, as soon as they work, I’m out of here.*
• The fleas are consuming poor Dixie Dog. We’ve been trying the Advantix and Frontline. We’ve moved on to a pill called Comfortis. She started on it last evening. I got 10 dead fleas off her yesterday. I hope this will help. It breaks my heart to see her chewing and scratching.
• I don’t like it when owners, purposefully, allow their dogs to run around the neighborhood. I understand (and believe me, I do) when they make a break for freedom. But, srsly? Do you not understand that in car v. dog, the dog never wins?
• I’m so happy that Dr. Man is done with his exam. He’s much more pleasant now. I think that’s better for the long-term prospects for our marriage.
• I do not like the Twilight series. Honestly, it creeps me out. But I can understand the draw of them. I have more thoughts on this, but they’re not too terribly original. These thoughts can be summed up as: I remember in high school feeling horribly unpopular and uncool (not that it’s changed, I just don’t care anymore). I also know that we (my particular group of friends at the time) thought it was terribly romantic for a guy we were interested in to come over unannounced and wouldn’t it be romantic if he just watched you sleep (insert squeel here). So, just combine the two and: voila! A hit! [In real life that’s just creepy. If I woke up with Dr. Man staring down at me, I’d start hiding the kitchen knives (just sayin’).] So, there you go.
• Yes, I know I’m not hard to find. I’m not really what one could even call pseudonymous. I just try to keep Google from spitting this blog out when my name is searched (I’m certain that people are constantly searching my name. I know, sarcasm, my grandmother tells me is not becoming).
• I’ve discovered a new annoyance and I’ll share it with you: I’m annoyed when a person spends N minutes (where N > 0) complaining about a pervasive problem (eg. the economy or the problem with animal models) and then proceeds to spend 0 minutes proposing a viable solution.

*Dr. Man has pointed out that after I beat the Projects of D00M down, I won’t want to quit. That may be true, but I really want to beat them down and I really want to quit. So, I figure that the order is important (since I can’t achieve the beating down if I reverse the order). I told him that I’d be willing to reevaluate after the beat down.

I’m following Psyc Girl’s example and making the most out of these interview questions that EcoGeoFemme asked me (many moons ago). I’m going to start with the first question she asked me:

How did you decide to get into biochemistry?  What made you choose that over some other field of biology, like physiology or proteomics or forestry or something?

At the risk of sounding horribly corny, it was my high school chemistry teacher and biology teacher. I really enjoyed both classes. For some reason, chemistry just made sense to me. The way everything in the world could be reduced to these tiny atoms and the entire world was governed by how they interacted with each other was just really cool to me.

When I got to college, my school didn’t offer a biology major, so I majored in chemistry. [I might’ve majored in physics had my intro to physics class been a bit better taught. Unfortunately, the physics program here seems to be averse to attracting students (our prof repeatedly told us that only stupid people needed this stuff explained… and sometimes I needed this stuff explained).] Still, I liked the idea of working on biological systems, so I switched to biochemistry in my junior year.

As for anything else, I kind of think that everything can be reduced down to chemistry (including physiology and proteomics). So, I feel like it’s a good foundation for anything else I might want to study or know about (except maybe forestry, I had the hardest time identifying poison ivy as a kid).

“Fluid filled.” Never have two better words ever been spoken in the English language. Everything is fine. I’m so relieved. Thank you all for your kind comments!

I’m still fairly freaked out over lump-gate. I’ve looked up statistics based on my age and family history. All of those things appear to be in my favor. I’ve quizzed Dr. Man about the work-up these things normally receive (it helps that he’s studying this for the USMLE) and it shouldn’t be too bad (worst-case initial work-up is a fine-needle biopsy). I like to know things. I like to be prepared. Usually, it helps me to calm down. This time, though, it’s not. helping.

However, this has stopped me complaining about the NP holding my anti-baby pills hostage. See, I hate the annual exam stuff. It’s uncomfortable and usually ends up with me whacking some poor person in the head with my knee (not intentionally). I’ve felt that they were kind of unnecessary (until now). I’m in a committed relationship and young (I’m only just approaching my late twenties… see: young!).

So, I thought that those factors should rule-out the necessity for these exams. I thought all those things right up to the point where the Nurse Practioner (poking around in the pectoral area) said, “Hmm…. Did you know that you have a lump there?”

Two more days.

Holy shit!

My life is an amalgamation of everyone¹ else’s life in the blogosphere [link removed**]. This is just creeping me out.

Ok, I’m only half-joking. It’s just strange that over the past few days I’ve seen so many posts that relate to what’s going on in my life at the moment. March has not been kind to me.

• Unblogable #1 (I still can’t talk about it because it involves someone else), is no longer anxiety provoking (as it’s been resolved ). However, there’s still some practical things related to it that are inconvenient.
• A really bad anniversary, which
• is a contributing factor to my particular “crash.”
• ¹I’m getting this checked out again in four days (previously known as the end of the month). And, according to my NP, it should “turn out to be absolutely nothing to very minor at worst. But just in case….” So, it’s probably nothing like what Dr. Isis or Professor Chaos went/are going through. I’m just a bit freaked. ‘Cause, you know, there isn’t supposed to be a lump there.
• I’m getting over the plague (again).
• Our car has reached the point where we need to replace it.
• Another unblogable has cropped up involving relatives of mine that is causing all sorts of interpersonal turmoil.
• Dr. Man is taking the last of his medical licensing exams at the end of this month.
• And, last, but not least: Registration for a conference is open, which means I need data now and, well, the Science Gods do not work on demand.

*I suppose this post could also be entitled: “In Which I Overshare”
**I decided that the overshare line is there. So, I drew it. In the sand. As it were.

So, I’m still around, but I’m definitely swamped. I’ll hopefully have a post up soon. The beach was good, btw.

I go to the beach.

I’m down, I’m out, and it’s time to get out of town. I’m falling apart (see Unblogable Event and Unblogable #2) and I’m just done. I decided to leave… today. A long drive tomorrow and then I’m meeting my college friends at the beach for a Girl’s Weekend.

I’ll see you all on Monday!