I try not to be overly consumerist, but, alas, I am. I want things. Some of my wants are to replace things I currently own with a newer, prettier replacement (see: the couch we inherited from Dr. Man’s best friend– when his fiancee wouldn’t let him move with it, the end table we inherited when another friend moved away, the lamp that we got from my parents when they were updating their house). Some are wants for things that are completely impractical (see: a wardrobe that doesn’t consist of jeans and t-shirts– but then again where would I wear such a wardrobe?). A bunch of wants are for the house (see: new kitchen countertops, new light fixtures in the bathrooms, new fence). A lot are just simply silly things (see: various books, new shoes).
The majority of these wants will continue to be unfulfilled. Some may end up being filled (probably some of the things for the new house, which can be justified by resale value), but I think the majority won’t. I don’t like the idea that the pervasive marketing in American society has influenced me into desiring prettier, newer things.
These wants may also have to do with looking at some of my peers that have chosen to go on and get jobs/careers/not go to grad school. They have lives that do not revolve around the doubling time of their yeast (or at least not the kind one would mention in polite company). They go on real vacations, buy things from Pottery Barn, and don’t hesitate to pick up meat at the grocery store. I’m jealous at times.
Even though I readily acknowledge that I’m perfectly happy without any of these things (and really I am), I still want.
Well said! I struggle with this too. Take my MP3 player and phone. Both are a couple of years old (my phone was bought used, from my brother in law) and have less than optimal interfaces. But both still do the basic job they’re designed for, despite my frustration with them. So do I really need an iPod and iPhone? No, I do not. But they’re just so shiny and cool!
I try to limit myself to stuff I actually need. Last week I bought a bunch of stuff for my bike (water bottle holder because I didn’t have one, new helmet because the straps on the old one keep randomly readjusting themselves, new jacket because the old one is no longer waterproof). I didn’t really need any of them, but I’d put them in a different category to the iPhone.
I’m still struggling against the pervasive marketing, and I too am sometimes jealous of the people who seem to just go with the flow!
I want, too. I want a lot, actually. And surprisingly, I am not shamed by this.
Here from NaComLeavMo. I finished my degree about two years ago (in pharmacology, but close enough to biochem in the classes we had to take) and WELL remember wanting a wardrobe other than jeans and T-shirts, but having no idea where I would wear such things. It’s not like we had money to go out anywhere! The second I landed a job teaching, I went out and bought a wardrobe of clothes. I still get a kick out of wearing them to work instead of jeans.
My job revolved around the doubling time of mouse cells instead of yeast, and didn’t involve real vacations or much meat. Since J was also in law school for my first two years of grad school (he started a year earlier), I remember being furious one time when he ate at Wendy’s for lunch–what on earth made him think we had money for that?
It was really difficult. I’ve gone into teaching at a two-year college and J has his own law firm so, while we have more money than we used to, we don’t have a lot (plus we have debts from school). It may someday get much easier but we’ll always remember when we didn’t.
Wanting is a problem I have, too… even though there is not necessarily a need. I put every dime into my business that I am starting and feel good about it, but sometimes I just have to buy something for myself – even if it’s just a nice, gourmet piece of chocolate. 😉 It seems to fulfill my need for wants… and puts me back on track!
CAE: I’m right there with you. Oh how I lust after an iPhone. I’d put the bike stuff in another category, too. Somewhere between a want and a necessity (if that makes sense). Sigh.
Aunt Becky: Teach me how not to be ashamed!
Erin: I’m looking forward to the day it gets easier. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
fat fighter: Gourmet chocolate… yum!
Hey thanks for stopping by my blog! Mmm, cheese! I could just drown in it I think. 😉
When I first moved to the U.S. I could not understand why people would get themselves into debt over stuff. But now the flowery wallpaper in the kitchen and the t-shirt/jeans wardrobe are really getting to me, and I have a weakness for pretty shoes when all I really need is flip-flops. Sigh. Not in this grad student’s budget.
I here from NaComLeavCom
We are want things and better things.I do too.
Some of the wants we will achieve somewhere down the road of delayed gratification. Ie .delay them now vs instant gratification
Treat to yourself to something nice every now and then -life isn’t meant to be total misery.
My Little Drummer boys
Just stopping by from NCLM. Thanks for visiting my blog!
Whatever you do, don’t get into video games. They rob you of your money AND your time!! 🙂
Thanks for the comment on my site! Isn’t NaComLeavMo fun?!?!
I have to totally agree with you on ‘wants.’ I am usually a pretty practical person and can go a really long time without splurging but when the dam breaks – watch out!! The biggest problem is, my husband is a spender, so when I splurge, there is no one to reel me back in!!
Oh, I hear you. In most cases I manage to stop myself by thinking about my other fantasy which is to have less mess in the house (have a more zen place if you like), about the sweatshops where these things were produced or even about the environment and how it does not need people to buy more things… it’s been working fairly well recently but still fails sometimes…
Here from NaComLeavMo and nodding head vigorously.
Health issues have forced me into early retirement (or maybe that should be temporary retirement) and I have the wardrobe full of perfectly good corporate suits and shirts and nothing to wear everyday. I also have a double dose of Scottish frugal genes but anything photographic or book related finds me making 75,000 justifications for the purchase. Might be a tad harder to lash out now I am classified as a dependent spouse!
Alison: No Problem! I’m liking NCLM so far!
Science Girl: I always pooh-pooh the consumerist culture and then I realize my want list keeps increasing. And as you said… not on this grad student’s budget.
Baby Amore: That is true. I do give in every so often, if only to make me happy 🙂
Q: Dr. Man (my husband) is into video games. And I have yet to see a bigger time suck.
Jamied: Dr. Man is a spender, too! So we have that same problem 🙂
Step-wise Girl: Isn’t that a conflict? With moving I’m finding myself having more zen-like aspirations.
Kore Chronicles: We should switch. You can have my T-shirts and I can have your nice clothes 🙂
I hear ya. I want all KINDS of stuff (mostly fancy hair care and skin care products, which on one hand I justify to myself because my health issues give me crappy hair and skin and don’t I deserve to look at least as presentable as the next person, but on the other hand um, who cares besides me?). I mention those fairly little things because if we start talking BIG stuff I get greedy and then bitter–why CAN’T we take the children to CHOP and get their connective tissue issues sorted by those experts? Dammit, they NEED that, but then it wouldn’t allow us to improve their healthcare really, and I don’t want them getting prodded, and I’m not sure it’s worth what it would cost MY health anymore for ME to go and play the autosomal-dominant guinea pig on all our behalf…sigh.
In Buddhism, you can only reach enlightenment be letting go of “tanha” or “grasping” (wanting stuff), and in higher education there seems to be a common thread, because DAMN, I want stuff now but I didn’t always usta EAT in grad school, LOL! Good luck!
Here for NCLM.
Ah, there is so much I want! And for a long time I was so bad with just buying what I want. Cute new shoes? Sure, why not. Ipod? Heck yeah.
Now our finicials have changed a bit (with the intro of kids) so I buy less for me. But oh, do I enjoy buying for them!
Here from NaComLeavMo, and a fellow science PhD student. I see no point in having anything other than jeans and t-shirts in my wardrobe. I wore something nicer to work ONCE and never heard the end of it.
As for the other things you want — I find that I don’t want shiny new stuff necessarily — I mainly want something that’s new to ME. craigslist rocks for this. Buy “different” used stuff, don’t spend much, make most/all of the money back by selling what you’re sick of, and the enjoy having a new look.
Love this post and totally get it. I find the older I get, the more I want but don’t necessarily need.
And because I’m here from NCLM and am an IF blogger who is wanting to have a baby … makes me wonder what I think I need is really just a want.
Oh yeah, how convoluted is that?!
Someday you will be done with grad school, and you will find that you have all of the THINGS you want (even the ridiculously expensive ones from Pottery Barn), but what you really want is more TIME. Life is funny.
Your dog is cute. I use the gentle leader, too, and totally love it. My dog weighs more than I do, and it really puts us on even ground!
Indeed, wanting stuff and wanting less stuff are in conflict… but probably wanting less stuff is better for everyone (my savings, myself as a person, the environment)… so I try to go to that side…
Eliza: I completely agree! I hear you.
The Dunn Family: I’m worried about that. When Dr. Man and I start a family, I’m pretty sure that I’ll cave. I mean, who wants to deprive their kids of stuff?
Nicky: I think craigslist may be my new stomping ground to keep me from buying new, expensive things.
Apron Strings Emily: Oh, that sounds like… well… a very difficult problem. However, I don’t think that wanting a baby is on the same level as me wanting an iPhone 😉
Queenie: The Dixie Dog says thank you 🙂
stepwise girl: Me too, but oh how I want!
Here from NCLM – what a great post! I struggle with this alot too. Fortunately I am not a shopper. When I do go shopping it’s usually with a list and with a reason – someone’s birthday, or my jacket is no longer waterproof. The downside is that I don’t “save money” by hitting the sales, as my MIL & SIL are so good at!
The other thing that is hard for me is getting rid of stuff. This is a huge, very important skill that I MUST acquire. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me. I try to think of how someone else might really be able to use and appreciate the item that’s been at the bottom of my closet for a year, or else reassure myself that I might as well recycle or toss thigns that are broken and I’ve lived without for a year.
Getting caught in the consumerist ehtos and having trouble getting rid of stuff – that’s not the way I want to live!