The past few days have been up and down. Dr. Man and I had a tiff over something really silly (who is driving this weekend), Advisor complained at me, Dr. Man and I made up (he’s driving down, today!), my Science has started to come together (this always makes me happy), and I’ve been able to spend time with Best Friend (who is really the best-est). Each up seems to be followed by a down, though, which makes the ups less fun in retrospect.
I’m excited to see Dr. Man this weekend. Referring the above down (and up), we’ve discovered another interesting facet to carrying on a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). We’ve found that we fight more. Now, I’m not talking about marriage-ending-horrible-knock-down-drag-out type fights, but I guess bickering is a much more accurate description. Without the facial and body clues, it’s easy to take a sarcastic remark seriously over the phone. After a long day, it’s easy to mistake the tiredness in Dr. Man’s voice for ambiguity towards me.
Plus, normal, everyday scheduling conflicts take on new significance. If I have to work late, then I may miss the time between the end of clinic and start of call for Dr. Man. Other times, he has to get up early in the morning and passes out by 8pm. So, if we don’t talk immediately after work, I miss him completely. My friends have become accustomed to me disappearing when we’re hanging out to take a call from Dr. Man. (As an aside: I know that this is horribly rude and insulting to my friends, but they’re rather understanding in this respect. At least, they’re still willing to hang out with me despite this!) This happens in the reverse situation, as well, the other week I was feeling sick and went to bed very early and missed talking to Dr. Man completely.
Then, there’s the whole problem as to what to talk about. This is only a problem when we’re both working to the exclusion of everything else. The question as to what each of us up to becomes rather boring, “Working.” Other times topics of conversation abound. Inevitably, those times are when we have limited time on the phone. But what I really miss is being able to just be quiet together. I, guess, though, silence isn’t really golden when you’re paying long distance.
A friend of mine is in a Cross-Ocean LDR; they have to talk when one is at lunch and it’s evening for the other because of time difference. But even without an ocean, LDRs sound incredibly difficult… Glad to hear you’ll have some time to spend together over the weekend.
This sounds so familiar. Husband and I were doing the long distance thing for four years before moving in together. I don’t know if we were fighting or bickering more, but we were certainly arguing over more meaningsless things. It is difficult when you don’t see each others expressions.
I’m very happy for Skype, although it’s a nightmare when the internet connection is lousy. Lots of annoyed discussions about “why is your connection so bad”…
When my husband and I were doing the LDR thing last year, it was very similar. None of the little things that make up day-to-day life seem important enough to talk about but those are the exact things you are missing! I hope it was a good visit!